Frankfurt...where 5am happens.

So first of all I apologize for the lack of my blogability or something like that over the past few months.  I haven't been a wallflower or anything, just too damn lazy to blog which is disappointing to like the 5 of you who read this.  So sorry my peeps, but I will try to do better, I swear...just yell and badger me and guilt me into posting (Wade Stick excels at this).

So in thinking about what to discuss on this, my glorious return to the blog, I figured giving a little insight into my rambling text messages from the middle of the night may be a good thing...or at least a look into the weird that happens in the early Frankfurt AM.  First let me preface that I was no stranger to closing down bars back in the native land of Cleveland or my adopted home of the hotness that is Atlanta.  However, as all of my fellow friends of the bottle know, the bars close at a somewhat reasonable 2-2:30 AM back in the majority of the USA.  Let me tell you, this is a good thing...seriously.  I know the lot of you who get after it may want the party to go on all night, and some of you who may have experienced NYC or Chicago and the magic of 4am may long to have that ability each and every day of your drinking career.  This is a slippery slope my friends, once you commit yourself to the long haul of a truly dangerous night out where the hallucinations of Jager kick in and the whiskey flows maybe a little too profusely, you may find yourself regretting decisions (the ones you recall at least) for weeks on end.  The loss of motor skill is not uncommon either.  Your legs may just give way to the pavement or you may find yourself wandering the streets in your socks wondering just what the hell is actually happening.  Yes this is the magic of 5am when only the truly hardcore are being removed from a bar and seeking refuge at the 24 hour saloon if only to sober up on beer.

If this is what it looks like when you walk home, you may be drunk

These nights in Frankfurt always seem to start on the same note, usually me stating to one of my fellow revelers that I don't want to make it a long night and will probably take off after the evening's first stop.  Then the rub happens, see in Frankfurt I get everywhere I go via the train system (and a mighty wonderful thing the U-Bahn is).  However, the train system takes a short nap in the early AM from 1 until 4:30, so if you miss that last train you find yourself reasoning with the fact that since you missed that train you might as well continue on until the trains start running again.  Yes Frankfurt has taxi cabs a plenty, but that would ruin the whole point of reasoning with yourself that it is OK to stay out a little while longer, I mean it is only 3 more hours and what is that when you have already been out for 3+ hours.  So then it is decided you have settled in for the long haul and the excitement that awaits for you at then bottom of your next glass of Pils.

The first two hours generally tick by in relatively normal fashion, I mean it is only 3 AM an hour I am accustomed to and at this point, unlike Rob Thomas, I am not lonely.  Nay, I am surrounded by my fellow man.  Hell this is the time when you are making life long connections with people (or so you think).  A 3 AM conversation with your new friends from Ireland (who's names you won't remember in 3 minutes, let alone the next day) regarding tomorrow's rugby match, a perfectly normal thing.  User beware as you may be convinced that you need to now power through the evening and watch rugby with you new friends at 7 AM...(yes this actually happened).  Then you are in, pulling for even the longer haul.  You may still realize that going home is the more acceptable answer at this point, but what fun would that be and you would never wake up in time for this all important rugby match (even if you have never watched the game before).  So there you find yourself, another bar, 4 AM...time ticking down, only 3 more hours to go, but wait where did your new friends go?  You remember something about a 24 hour bar near the train station so in a cab you ride trying to find this dive (and why you don't have them steer you home, it is a lost cause at this point) and by the grace of you cabbies ability to understand slured English you actually find this bar.  5 AM...6 AM...you know a few faces in the bar, but comprehension is not your strongest attribute at this point, you are just buying time and finally, 7 AM.  Luckily the 24 hour bar is around the corner from your rugby spot and somehow the Irish guys are there!  You settle in and watch about 10 minutes of rugby before you realize, you have no idea what is going on in this game and have a snowballs chance in hell of actually figuring it out...so to the cab you go (even though the trains are running...you reason that you just need to get home at this point) and find your way back to your bed to rest up until you can't fight the daylight anymore.

This is just one variation of the story, sometimes you find yourself drinking with a guy in his late 60s from Minnesota named Kurt (ok, so Kurt is probably my favorite person I have met in Frankfurt, he is the dirtiest old man ever).  Maybe you run into someone telling you to trust the alternative media that turns into an argument where you proclaim that the "alternative media" is just some fat kid sitting in his parents basement eating Cheetos.  Other times you are just singing Country Roads at the top of your lungs with the rest of the bar and pouring one out for Jani Lane (people thought I was nuts).  The key to making this all successful at the end of the day is finding people to employ the buddy system of drinking with.  At the end of the day, we all need someone who you can count on to tap you on your shoulder when you really need to go home, or at least is committed enough to see it through to the other side with you.  This is the one unequivocal fact that I have learned in my first 6 months living abroad, and something that is missed from time to time.  It is also a fact that I (along w/ most that I know) take for granted back in the US.  Your friends who are willing to belly up with you and from time to time send you on your way are the most important accessory to a successful night out.

To those of you who have been to this dark side with me I thank you and hope that I have or will return that favor to you in the near future.

See you on the flip.

Authors Note:  I sincerely apologize for quoting Matchbox 20 in this blog post.  I will do better with my pop-culture references next time.